Free Love for men - no longer an option

Did the Free Love movement put an end to men's rights over women?

Court cases show that well after the turn of the century, a wife's income was considered to be her husband's property. Marriage, as construed by the culture and laws of the Victorian era, basically gave a man ownership over his wife.

More to the point, it gave him a legal right to her sex, regardless of how she might feel about it.

Since even information regarding contraception was banned, control over reproduction was in the hands of men. There was no legal recourse for a woman, and little else she could do-short of murder-to stop her husband if he wanted to have sex with her.

Consider the tone of this advertisement from a newspaper, published in 1900 for a product that had been for sale throughout the latter half of the 19th century:

"HOW IS YOUR WIFE?

Has she lost her beauty? If so, Constipation, Indigestion, Sick Headache are the principal causes. Karl's Clover Root Tea has cured these ills for half a century. Price 25cts. And 50cts. Money refunded if results are not satisfactory. Sold by Harrison & Roth, Druggists."

The insult to women aside, this ad and others like it-all directed at men-clearly show what a sexually benighted time the Victorian era was.

But something extraordinary happened at the height of this hypocrisy: the Free Love movement.

The movement actually started at about the same time as an interest in Spiritualism swept the United States in the 1830s and 1840s. It is worth indicating that in the mid 1800s, Spiritualism meant communicating with spirits-knocking noises on walls and tables, speaking to dear old aunt Emma, that sort of thing.

The movement was fairly conservative to begin with, in that the focus was still on the propriety of traditional family structures and duties. However, Free-Lovers also held that love (and, for some, Spiritual affinity) should determine whether a union formed or endured, not the church or state.

Later, as the movement matured, it grew more diverse, and included a faction that could be described as polyamorous. There were two groupings, known as the Exclusivists and Varietists, in 1870s.

Reformers in both camps believed that true love justified and led to true marriage, but the Exclusivists said this could only happen between two people. The Varietists believed that love was like lust and could be felt for any number of people, and therefore could, and even should, express itself in plural and varied ways.

These people and many others had many adventures and misadventures, and left a legacy that could not be undone. Maybe we should remember this when we read about the current prosecution of the polygamous, or gays, or lesbians.

When the hot acid of bigotry weighs on our minds, let's remember how far we've come and try to keep some perspective.

We can talk about things like breast cancer and birth control freely. Love and liberty matter and freedom is not dead!